The Healing Power of Self-Compassion
As a therapist, I believe self-compassion is essential to the healing process. No matter my clients' histories or traumas, incorporating self-compassion in therapy consistently proves beneficial.
How we treat ourselves—how we speak to ourselves, how we feel about ourselves—has a profound impact on our ability to heal. Harsh self-criticism can deepen our pain, while self-compassion creates the space for true growth and emotional recovery.
When introducing self-compassion, I often turn to the work of Dr. Kristin Neff, a leading researcher in the field. In her Self-Compassion Workbook (Neff, 2018), she outlines three core elements of self-compassion: Self-Kindness, Common Humanity, and Mindfulness.
1. Self-Kindness
This means treating ourselves with the same warmth and understanding we’d offer a close friend—especially when we’re struggling or make mistakes. We’re often quick to criticize ourselves, yet slow to offer comfort. Self-kindness invites us to soothe and support ourselves, rather than tear ourselves down.
2. Common Humanity
Suffering is part of the human experience. When life doesn’t go as planned, we often feel isolated in our pain—as if everyone else has it all together. But the truth is, we all struggle. Recognizing this shared reality helps us feel more connected and less alone in our suffering.
3. Mindfulness
Mindfulness involves acknowledging our thoughts, emotions, and sensations without judgment. It allows us to stay present with our pain long enough to respond with care, rather than avoidance or over-identification. By observing our experiences with gentle awareness, we create space to heal without becoming consumed by our suffering.
Practicing self-compassion isn’t always easy, especially if we’ve learned to be hard on ourselves. But it is always worth practicing. When we treat ourselves with kindness, remember we’re not alone, and allow ourselves to feel without judgment, we create the foundation for deep, meaningful healing.
Citation:
Neff, K. (2018). The Self-Compassion Workbook: A Proven Way to Accept Yourself, Build Inner Strength, and Thrive. New Harbinger Publication
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TAWNY GAUSE
If you are looking for a warm, compassionate, safe space to heal, look no further. Tawny specializes in anxiety, depression, relationship challenges, trauma and limiting beliefs.
